| PERSONAL GROWTH |
The More We Give, the More We Get
Listening can be more helpful than giving advice
"It is in giving that we receive"
I have a lot of admiration, respect and gratitude for people who give their time and/or money to worthwhile causes and charities. There are so many people and organizations in need of help these days. I applaud those who give regularly and improve the world through their philanthropic efforts. I love the idea of giving on any level to those who are less fortunate and in need.
I believe there is tremendous focus on the need to give of our time and our money to those in need. I also believe there is a tremendous need to listen and pour into the people in our lives who need our guidance and love. To me this is also a form of philanthropy.
Here are a few tools for giving your heart to someone who needs you.
Pay it forward:
So many of us have an abundance of blessings and good fortune in our lives. So many of us have gained wisdom through our own failings and lessons we have learned along life's journey. I believe it is our responsibility to share our abundant mind set (positive mental outlook), wisdom, lessons and the tools we have amassed with people who are in need of our help.
To me a large part of gaining wisdom and learning lessons is the opportunity to share what we have learned with others. Almost everything of value that I know I have learned from others (people, books, seminars etc…). I refer to this as "swipe and adapt." I swipe the information that I have learned and I adapt it to the situation and the person I am talking to.
We all have so much to give. Let's continue to learn and pay what we learn forward to those who need what we have.
Know when to listen:
I often ask those who I am interacting with, "Do you want me to speak into you or would you prefer I just listen to you?" We must understand and discern the difference.
Sometimes people just need to vent and get whatever is on their mind off their chest. In those instances we are a receiver of that information. The expectation is that we listen intently and allow the other person to discharge that energy. Often times just listening to someone is enough to help them through their issue or problem.
In other cases the people we are interacting with want us to listen and then offer our perspective or advice. In those cases I ask, "Are you asking me to give you my perspective and advice on the issue/situation you just described to me?" Clarification of the expectation of who you are talking with is a huge component to you and them getting what they want and need from the exchange.
Know when to pour into someone:
Timing is such a huge component to helping others and communication success. What is the appropriate time and place to pour your knowledge and experience into the person you are with? Be aware of when and where you give. Saying the right thing at the wrong time is just like saying the wrong thing. Be aware of where and when and you will achieve greater success in helping and giving.
Give without the expectation of getting anything in return:
Give with an open and loving heart. Give with the expectation that you are giving to help another human being with nothing for you to gain. Along the way you may get a positive feeling that in helping others you feel good. That is an amazing take away. But this isn't a give and take. We must give to give and not give to take.
"Those who give cheerfully give twice – once to others, once to themselves."
Philanthropy comes in many different ways. I attach value to all the types of giving I have discussed in this piece. We must be mindful of when to give and to whom. One of the first rules of teaching and coaching is don't teach or coach those who don't want to be taught/coached. Ensure that those we interact with actually want our help.
Everyone has different needs at different times. Some will ask for your help or for you to listen to them and others won't. We must possess the awareness to know who needs help and what kind of help they need. I concede that it is emotional heavy lifting but giving through listening and through our guidance and love is as necessary as the money or time we give to charities.